The Heart of Who We Are
Here I am.
"What am I doing on this planet? No, really! What is my purpose?"
"What's all this spiritual enlightenment talk about? Mindfulness? I don't want to quiet my mind, it's uncomfortable."
"I've reached the conclusion that people are not to be trusted. Yet I want to belong and my heart hurts when it's closed. I'm scared. How can I trust others?"
Let's re-story. We all create stories - of ourselves, the world, relationships - some of them are helpful while others are not. If you want deeper understanding of your core beliefs, let's create a safe space to explore and rewrite those beliefs together.
Let's welcome every single part of you with the sensitive curiosity it has been waiting for, and then open new possibilities for how you see and experience yourself and others.
Whether it's healing from the past, self-discovery, or learning new communication skills to be with the people you are closest to, together we can do it. And though most of us didn't get offered communication or relationship skills when growing up, it's never too late.
My counseling practice has an emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as others- and uses the principles of nonviolent communication to do so.
Love in conflict
"We fight all the time and I hate it."
"It seems like no matter what I do my partner won't just meet me half-way."
"I feel like such a failure in relationship."
Conflict is a normal part of relationships. We typically see it as a bad thing, so we run from, repress or try to make it disappear. Imagine if we reframed it as fertile ground from which to grow together.
How we communicate with our partner and how we self-connect while in conflict is the foundation upon which all breakdowns have a breathing chance for reaching harmony and love. Let's learn how to express in a way that doesn't hurt the other, and at the same time honors your own needs.
When we recondition ourselves to access our curiosity and loving expression, whole new worlds arise.
This work will help you:
- Understand what is at the root of your relationship conflict
- Understand the origin of judgments and their genuinely helpful use
- Examine the thinking that leads to conflict, in order to create connection and effectiveness with your partner
- Identify common patterns of language that lead to communication breakdowns
- Build compassionate communication tools that build a pathway to closeness and intimacy
- Cultivate connection instead of habitual pulling away and distrust
- Truly see and be seen by your partner
Through the practice of compassionate communication we can learn to clarify with our partners what we are observing, what emotions we are feeling, and what we want to ask of the other person. We will no longer need to use the language of blame. We can experience the deep pleasure of contributing to each other's well being.
Being attuned and responsive to our partner is everything. With the couples I work with, we explore what it means to love, to move through heartache, and to find our way back to deep and nurturing connection. Our work helps them discover ways to be accessible, responsive and engaged with their lover. Then, with more of this safe haven they have with their loved one, the more assured, assertive, and adventurous they are in life!
Unique support for ages 13 - 19
Dear precious ones of our future. You are our tomorrow. Creative, adaptive, curious, and sometimes scared you feel. Asking yourself, "How do I minimize risk and still not miss out?" And, "Where do I belong?"
Young people have a different way of looking at the world, and that way of expression can sometimes be lost on others.
There is a lot of info in your silence, in a shrug of your shoulders, in your offward glance, if only we could calmly capture it. You are worried about the world's state of affairs no doubt, and often more worried about how the adults around you ineffectively express themselves and disconnect during these crucial times. Frustrating, I know.
You'd like your questions to be met with curiosity, not answers. Understanding not judgment. Through your wildly creative personalities displayed to the world, ultimately you, just like all of us, want connection, belonging, purpose, and love.
Like a bamboo shoot, when given the space, nutrients, and delicate nurture, you grow vibrant and engaged. May you be provided the speaking, listening, and relationship skills to do so.
I am available to provide a unique space for you to be all YOU, and to fully discover and express that "you" into. Then, we'll learn nonviolent communication to give you the resilience, connection, and empowerment you so badly want.